Friday, March 23, 2012
Week 10 Blog Question
Hi!
This week's question is from Yuki; this is probably one of the more challenging questions we have had. Here is the question:
Who was the historical person [who] contributed the most to your country? Why?
I look forward to your interesting, thorough responses.
Happy writing students!
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In my opinion, the person is Nobunaga Oda. He is the first person who tried to make a national unification in Japan. Before 1575, there were a lot of civil wars because there are some groups which have each territory, and there is no leader who makes the all groups together. However, he destroyed the biggest group and talked to all groups to cooperate to get together. After that, he made national roles and system. Although he was going to be the first leader in Japan, he died before he completed them. Therefore, his men did what he wanted to do, and after the roles and system were complete, there is no civil war long time in Japan. He said, “Believe yourself. Live your live” (Naoya Takahashi).
ReplyDeleteHi Yui,
DeleteNobunaga Oda sounds like a very interesting and important person. I had never heard of him before reading your response. Before he unified Japan, did all of the different groups speak Japanese, or did some of the groups speak other languages? I wonder how many of his ideas (roles & systems) are still important in Japan today.
On Grammar: Verb Tense
This is something a lot of students take for granted, but it's still quite important: verb tense. Because you are talking about the past here, you should use the past tense. In this case, I know you are referring to the past, so I can infer that you mean "past" when you use the simple present, but sometimes tense inconsistency can make things a little confusing. In all, I count five verb tense errors. Also, in the second sentence, even though you are describing a fact, you still need the past tense.
Hope this helps.
I write about The King Abdullah Bin Abdulaziz who is now the king of Saudi Arabia. He contributes our country by develop the field of education .For example, he was sent a large number of students for graduate studies abroad. Also, He has been sent up to 80 thousand men and women to more than 25 countries under the program of the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques for foreign grants. During the era of King, government established 24 universities and 9 private universities. Moreover, he has been providing higher education for nearly one million men and women while approximately 33 employees appointed faculty in the period between 2009-2010.
ReplyDeleteHi Aisha,
DeleteIt's pretty amazing that King Abdullah has done so much for education in such a short amount of time. It might be the single biggest increase in education resources and development in modern times. I'm sure that this will be a huge benefit to Saudi society in the future.
On Grammar: Present Perfect vs. Present Perfect Progressive
In your response, you use the present perfect progressive when it would be more accurate to use the present perfect. In these sentences, the present perfect is a better choice for the reason that both sentences describe recent finished actions that are still relevant to the present. Note: if these actions still continued, then the present perfect progressive would be appropriate.
Example 1: He has SENT up to 80 thousand men and women...
Example 2: He has PROVIDED higher education to......
You should also use the present perfect in sentence #3 instead of the passive.
Hope this helps.
This question is very tough because I have trouble with choosing only one person. There are a lot of people who contributed to Japan. But, I choose and write about Ito Hirofumi who is one of the people who contributed to Japan. He played big role in The Meiji Restoration. The Meiji Restoration was the revolution in Japan, which is caused by idea that Japan should be solidified against other countries. In this revolution, he did many reformations. For example, he made the Constitution of the Empire of Japan which became basis for now the Japanese Constitution and introduced the Cabinet system in Japan. Because of his action, he became first premier in Japan. So, today, a banknote of ten thousand yen in Japan adorned with his face. For these reasons, I think Ito Hirofumi is the person who contributed the most to Japan.
ReplyDeleteHi Hikaru,
DeleteSimilar to Yui's response, your response details the accomplishments of a very important person that I had never heard of before. It sounds like his actions influence present-day Japan quite a lot. I'd like to read more about the Meiji Restoration as this seems like such an important era in Japanese history.
On Grammar: Nonrestrictive Adjective Clauses
When we use adjective clauses to describe known people or places (with proper nouns--i.e. names), the information in the adjective clause is "unnecessary." Because this information isn't necessary, we set it aside with commas.
Example: I choose to write about Ito Hirofumi, who is one of the people who contributed to Japan.
In this sentence, you have two adjective clauses. The first should be separated by commas because it comes after a name (Ito Khrofumi); the second comes after "people" and therefore does not need commas.
We will discuss this grammar point after spring break, but I hope this helps for now.
I think the person who contributed to my country is Tadataka Inou. He was the first person who made the map of all parts of Japan, and his map was so delicate for this era which was the 18th century. Surprisingly, he made japanese map by only his foot, and it took about twenty years to complete his map. When I was heard by history teacher about it, I couldn't believe. But his effort was real,and still become a one of legends of japanese history.
ReplyDeleteHi Wata,
DeleteI'm amazed by the achievement of Tadataka Inou. What an incredible feat! I can hardly believe that he could create such a detailed map by walking around the country, but it is true. If you have a picture of his original map, I'd love to see it!
On Grammar: to be told about vs. to hear about
Both of these verb phrases mean the same thing; the only difference is in the form: one is passive while the other is not. Thus, instead of saying "When I was heard by my teacher about it.....," you have the following two options, both of which are equal:
1. When I heard about it from my teacher....
OR
2. When I was told about it by my teacher....
Note that "hear about" is following by the preposition "from," while "by" is used with "be told about."
Hope this helps.
I think king Abdulaziz bin saud who calld ibin suad established Saudi Arabia ( the third country). After the capture of Riyadh, he spent the next twelve years consolidating his conquests in the area around Riyadh and the eastern part of the country from where the Turks were expelled. On the 2nd of September 1933, the lands under the control of Abdul Aziz were renamed the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. He established the first ministries such as Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Ministry of the Interior, Ministry of Defense, Ministry of Transportation, and Ministry of Finance. Also, he established the first Consultative Council. Furthermore, he established Saudi Arabian Monetary Agency and Saudi Arabian Airlines. Moreover, he established Cabinet. Also, he drill the first oilfield and he issued the first Shipment of oil. This is some of his achievements and he did more.
ReplyDeleteHi Ayidah,
DeleteIt sounds like King Abdulaziz bin Saud single-handedly created the country of Saudi Arabia. It's amazing that one man was able to do so much. One thing I've always wondered about is when Saudi Arabia was officially established. Now I know: Sept. 2nd, 1933.
On Grammar: these
In your last sentence, you use "this" instead of "these" to describe "achievements." Because the noun is plural, the correct choice is "these." Be sure to change the verb so that you have agreement.
Example: THESE ARE some of his achievements.
Example 2: This is ONE of his achievements.
One more note: Some of the information you have provided is from a website, and because you have not paraphrased or cited this information, this could be considered plagiarism. It's very important that we try to avoid this. The best way to prevent this is to paraphrase the information in your own words. It is also a good idea to include a citation if you can.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Hope this helps.
I think Ryoma Sakamoto is.I think what he did is
ReplyDeleteso important for present Japan.In 19c,Japan was different from present one.He tried to change Japan.He studied Western ideas.And his achievements were new and necessary for japan.For example,he made the first joint-stock corporation.Moreover he did several things for Japan.If he would not exist,Japan could not develop.
Hi Saki,
DeleteI didn't know about Ryoma Sakamoto before reading your response. It sounds like he did a lot for Japan's economy. I'd like to know more about what he did; for example, when you say "several things," what do you mean?
On Grammar: Spacing & Past Unreal Conditionals
First, go back and check my comments on "spacing" for your Week 8 Blog response.
Next, the past unreal conditional is a difficult form. In your last sentence, you attempt to use it and come very close. Here is the form that you should use in your last sentence:
"If he had not existed, Japan could not have developed."
Hope this helps.
I think Matthew Calbraith Perry was the best person for this week’s question. Perry was the sailor of the U.S. Navy, and the person who urged Japan to open trade. During 1852 to 1854, he went to Japan 5 times with four through seven American battleships. On that time, Japan was a national isolation. Japanese shogunate had not wanted to do it, but finally they did it. A lot of people were afraid of the U.S. because these black big battleships looked like so strong. In addition, some people like Ryoma Sakamoto (he is Saki’s answer!) noticed that Japan should open the country to the world. It might be able to say that thanks to Perry, Japan is the global and advanced nation now. He succeeded in changing Japanese trade system and Japanese mind.
ReplyDeleteHi Fumika,
DeleteHow interesting it is that you have chosen a foreigner for your response! Do most Japanese people know about Matthew Perry? I wonder what Japan would be like today if Matthew Perry hadn't visited Japan so many times and urged the leaders to open their country to the world.
On Grammar: the expression "it could be said"
When we want to speculate on something that we think is probably or generally true, we can use the expression "it could be said." I think that this is what you mean when you say "It might be able to say."
Example: It could be said that thanks to Perry......
Hope this helps.
The only person who Tajik people admire first and love him is Emomalii Rahmon. Starting from 1929 Tajikistan was under communist regime (USSR), and hopefully in 1991 USSR broke up, so 15 counties which were under the USSR became free including Tajikistan. All those countries they chose their presidents and started new life, but not Tajikistan. When USSR broke up in Tajikistan a lot of groups appeared who wanted their own leader to be a president. As a matter a fact, they didn't want to talk about who will be a president but they fought against each other. Most of the peaceful people run away to our neighbor countries such as China, Kirghistan, Uzbekistan, and Afghanistan. Fight between groups for being president continuous-ed almost one year a lot of innocent people died including my cousin, so everybody afraid to be a president because who wanted to be a president got killed though no one wanted to die. As a result, Emomalii Rahmon came and called each groups leader to talk without any weapons. It was surprising that Rahmon didn't belong to any of those groups who fought, so they made deal and everybody agreed and they wanted Rahmon to be president because he promised that he will bring peace. As a result Rahmon became a president, and was attacked three times. Unfortunately, the third attack heart him real bad because he got shot in his leg, and everybody thought he will leave. However, he didn't leave he stopped all that groups who fought and who killed a lot of innocent. Then November 6 1994 he became the President. He brought peace how he promised, he brought back those people who run from Tajikistan to other countries while civil war was in Tajikistan. Moreover, he has started serving people from that day when he became president. Now Tajikistan is one of the most peaceful country in the world. Thanks to Emomalii Rahmon everyone can do anything they want in Tajikistan not afraid from someone. People say, "If there is peace then Emomalii Rahmon is there."
ReplyDeleteHi Oyatullokh,
DeleteIt was really interesting for me to read about your description of Tajikistan's transition to democracy after the USSR left Tajikistan in 1991. I now know much more about Tajikistan's recent history and the man who helped make this transition possible: Emomalii Rahmon. It's also sad that so many innocent people, including your cousin, died during this tumultuous period.
On Grammar: Sentence Problems
Your writing still shows quite a few sentence problems that we discussed in the first part of the semester. Go back and review these sentences in order to see if you can correct them.
Problem 1: Stringy Sentences (still a problem!)
Example: It was surprising that Rahmon.......
Problem 2: Run-on Sentences
Example: However, he didn't leave he stopped all.....
Problem 3: Comma Splices
Example: He brought peace how he promised, he brought those people.....
Hope this helps.
Hi Josh,
ReplyDeleteYes, most Japanese know that Mattew Perry (I just learned his given name Perry) was the person who urged Japan to open trade. Japanese learn about it in history class. Do most or many American people also know about Matthew Perry? If so, what they know about him? I only know about his action for Japan.
1.
It could be said because of Van Gogh's sad history, many people are attracted him and his picture now.
1. I got angry when I heard it from my friend.
ReplyDelete2. I was impressed when I was told it by my teacher.
I agree with what Wataru said that Tadataka Inou is the first person who made Japanese map, and the map is almost perfest. I also respect him because before he did it, the Japanese map was very rough. However, I would have to say that he did not complete Japanese map by himself because he had died before it was completed. After he died, his students completed the Japanese map.
ReplyDeleteI agree with fumika's opinion. Japan could make relation with another countries like America thanks for Mattew Perry. However, I would have to say that this relation was not only good point bacause Perry had Japan accept an unequal treaty. I think this incident was enforcement by Perry.
ReplyDeleteHi, Fumika.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Mattew Perry contributed to development of Japan. Without him, Japan could not catch up with other countries. But I want him to approach us more peacefully. When he request us to open, he used an army power. Japanese were afraid him. I think there were another ways to request.